Previously I blogged about attempting water propagation. Thought it was worth revisiting as it went very well! At first it seemed a lost cause with no visible root growth. Reading up on it I quickly learned that to properly attempt this you need to cut the stem just under a node. I gave it another go and sure enough we had growth!

General advice I received suggested not moving the leaves into a planter until your “roots had roots.” Once it got to that point they found their new home in the beautiful skull planter Anabel bought me years and years ago.

I’ve started another set of leaves so hopefully it goes as smoothly as this did!

Also worth noting? I’ve been taking care of the African Violets that Kit got Anabel as a gift. The flowers had long since withered but the leaves stayed very healthy so I included it in my routines. Much to our surprise, just a week ago or so it sprouted not just one, but two new flowers!

I have this horrible habit/outlook/anxiety about not being able to follow instructions and achieve the end result. I don’t know if the ADHD is to blame or what, but it’s a fear that has always stuck with me. It has been very rewarding to take care of the flowers and propagate leaves. Even our monstera is healthy again.

Maybe it’s related, maybe it’s not, but I’ve recently struggled with the concepts of authenticity and “being a good person.” The former is something that has always been in the peripheral.

Is this work of art genuine, or is it just too much of my interests and inspiration taking center stage?

Is this song my own, or am I just misremembering a cool melody I heard?

How much of my personality is really “me”?

Even writing this now I wonder if the “me” I am presenting here is really me at my core. That was a ridiculous sentence to type but I hope you get what I mean.

It’s not some unheard of concept that people present a “version” of themselves online. People do it in person too. You want to be your best self. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, but whether it’s a real tangible fear or just my anxiety doing its thing, I worry that too much of what I share, or say, or do, isn’t me at all.

I think that connects pretty directly to my other worry and that’s being a better person. I try my best to be kind, to listen, to help, to do the ‘right thing.’ It’s that old saying: “Your character is what you do when nobody is watching.” I want to say that holds true and I am the person I want people see me as, but I don’t know if it is. I’ve made mistakes and have flaws. I don’t mean that I’ve executed some horrible plot in secret, but that I want to be nicer. Kinder. More empathetic. I don’t think I’ve done a terrible job with those things but I want to genuinely work on those qualities.

I think I’m rambling too much and I’m starting to think it sounds oddly boastful. Bottom line is I want to be more honest, kind, and dependable.

…and maybe better at gardening.